Clyde has a lot of friends. A great mob of them and if there's anything he lacks in friends it's more than made up for by the mass of family he's got. Make's me feel like a friendless orphan sometimes. Not that i don't have a motley crew of the most fabulous people in the ommiverse to call my friends but i relate to them much differently than he does. They call all hours of the day and night. They lean on him for advice and get him into ridiculous pickles. When we first got together i tried to win them over but that was futile as, by and large, they are not a trusting lot though i've managed to be friendly with a few of the more important of the tribe. At this point they don't much affect my life except to the extent that they affect Clyde's life, which, upon reflection, is a great lot.

In particular there is the issue of the amount of time they require. One of the things that really works best about my relationship with Clyde is that he gives me a wide berth. We love spending time together and I love spending time alone. I can usually got about a week before I need massive amounts of Natalie time, about 3 or 4 days usually suffices. We've gotten into this rhythm where we spend every minute we can together for a week or so and then he spends 5 or 6 days between his friend and families' places. Every now and again there will be a power struggle when his friends/family want him when it's my time but i usually win because while they cook his favorite foods like crab, i have an unlimited supply of ass. ass trumps crab.

Lately I've been feeling a little needier. The weather's nice I want to go out and play with the boy without having to consult his social calendar. Unfortunately my whining coincides with his birthday month (he'll be 40 on the 13th) which is apparently akin to a national holiday to those folks. So i can go hang out with folks i'm passibly cordial with to be with him or i can wait til it's my time again. Needless to say I've been waiting.

It's been making me restless and I finally figured out why. I have a running joke with him about "that bitch", a fictious other woman who gets blamed for all kinds of random shit and mercilessly picked on for no good reason. Last night when i was picking on her again we were laughing and realized that his friends ARE the other woman. That crush of friends and family are needy, whiny, full of drama, and trying to steal my man.

Seeing them that way takes a fair amount of the significance out of my neediness.


In other news, April 28 was our 2 year anniversary and you'll never believe what I did!! I cooked an amazing dinner of lamb rib chops, spring pea and rosemary risotto, and roasted asparagus and paired it with an amazing (read: expensive) vintage Merlot. I really put my foot in it!! He declared it the best meal he'd ever eaten. And I have to say that I surprised myself. The lamb was perfectly medium and the risotto wasn't burned!! I got the recipe from Rachael Ray's magazine. Gawd bless Rachael Ray!!

There's so much going on, Clyde and I are planning to live in Zimbabwe for a few months, work is intense, my relationship with my sister has gone to a new level. I've got so much to write about and not enough time at present. Soon though, soon.

i love you,
me

http://www.wset.com/news/stories/0308/504814_video.html?ref=newsstory

My mother is the Executive Director of this school and my brother and his son are featured in this video. Saving this school is a family affair. I'm building a website to help them raise money to keep the school open and viable.

when were were young, i about 11 my brother about 13, my brother was a junior deacon at our small baptist church. he'd been doing it for a while though i never really saw any benefit in it. he was pretty devout back then. one sunday he was picked to lead a prayer in front of the whole church. it was his big debut and he was excited. we were excited for him. so he gets up to the podium and bows his head and the congregation dutifully follows suit. then he starts to pray a long winding prayer that incorporates everything from the weather to the sick and shut in. at the end of this very very long rambling prayer about nothing my brother takes a deep breathe and a long pause and just as everybody is about to lift up their heads cause they think he's done he says "and...god bless america, amen." since that day god bless america has been an inside joke in my family. and i chuckle whenever i hear it even at very somber moments.

my hair is being mutinous. luckily i'm hot enough to compensate for atrocious hair. i'd post a pic but i can't deal with the humiliation. work is being good except i almost quit yesterday b/c my boss hurt my feelings. asshole. i made a mistake by not checking my work in IE6 which totally fucking messed up the rendering of this page i created and he made a comment to the effect that that's why he was hesitant to give me more challenging work. bastard. i came this close to just not coming in today. but I did anyway. though i was an hr late. i hate Internet Explorer. it's basically useless. firefox is truly the bomb. as a web developer i beg you to switch browsers, at least until IE7 comes out which they are promising fixes all the fucked up layout/css issues.

in other news my brother and sister-in-law gave birth to a 9lb 4oz boy which they gave what i consider the funniest name ever. i wish i could have been there for the birth.

JA took the train from NYC to be with me last night and took it back this morning. i love that he does that. he is so unbelievably hot. last night was so sweet. he told me he misses me and said that he loves me. very nice. i'm so easily coddled. we had a conversation about our relationship. he said that it's going somewhere but he's not worried about labels or trying to direct it. he feels like something will happen to impact the way its going and at that point the nature of our relationship will "move to another level". it means something to him that we've been together for 2yrs. it occurs for me like it's going nowhere fast, that it has a certain drift to it, that he's a great lay and that's about it. not entirely true, we have great conversations. i'm not holding my breath on something impacting it but i will be staying at his uber phat pad on lexington street in manhattan in october and november. i'm considering going up this weekend but i don't know if that would be wise given my financial situation.

I was reading through my old journals from when i was young and i found an entry that mentioned that i'd been given the trophy for Most Tenacious at the forensics (competitive public speaking) team award banquet at my high school when I was 15. pretty cool hunh?